The world doesn't need whiners...
There's no point in letting the whole world know what's going in my own lil world. Im losing my sense of privacy.
I got a card from a friend from way back says there " You are a beautiful person, come out of your shell. Let your love be felt by everybody."
See I used to be a private person, I don't talk much about what I feel. I goof up, play around but I don't talk about "me". My friends can attest to that.
But 2006 was a year of revelation, a year of maturity in many ways.
I've done so many stupid things. I lost and I gained.
I lost control of my emotions, I lost a friend and so on and so forth.
All along I thought that I'm 22 so I must, should, could, release my inhibitions, live my life to the fullest.
No regrets. It made me who I am today gained me anew set of friends.
But now that I'm 23 there are some things that I must change and things that I need to bring back to my life.
One of them is privacy. I realized that it really helps to talk about what you feel, what's going on with your life.
But it's not healthy to talk about it 24/7.
I apologize to those ears I have busted... Appreciate it guys.
The past few months has been very challenging for me. I went through a series of contemplation, soul searching. 'Guess its what they called the phase of "trying twenties".
I have been trying to understand myself, what I feel and what's going on with my life. Why can't my life be the way I wanted it to be or the way I planned it.
Why can't I have the people I want to be in my life? Why cant I do the things I've been dying to do?.. and etc.
It was mind boggling, heart crushing and my only outlet was to talk about it with my friends.. I talk about every little thing and it felt good. Talking about "me" is really something new.
I enjoyed the feeling of being free to speak up, letting everybody know what I have in mind, what my plans are in the future.
But today I realized there's still something missing, I was so busy talking about "me" that I forgot about "me". That might be confusing to some but to me it's crystal clear.
Im always searching, whining, wishing. Frustrated and desperate to find the answer I look inside myself what is it that I really want to do with my life?
and why cant fate agree with me...And the answer is simple Heavenly Father wants me to listen.
Simply listen to what he has to say. I now finally admit that I can't handle all these trials by myself so now I'm saying "JESUS TAKE THE WHEEL"
- and what's that exactly got to do with me bringing back privacy.
My friends won't hear me whining, or talk about my "bandido-soulmate', my future plans will be between me and God.
I've talked to my friends, my family but nothing beats pouring your heart out to your Father in Heaven.
Cheers to me getting in control with my life again. Looking forward to a better "me".
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