Dear Khalel

"wash away my tears"

Dear Khalel,

Hold your breath and don't look down.
Just take it one story at a time.
It's really not so hard.

Sometimes screaming will help you keep the insides inside. There's no turning back, all you can do is hope they'll be there to catch at the bottom; but they won't, and it's never a soft landing. And after you hit the bottom, fracturing every bone, everyone expects you to just tough it up and walk away. But you can't even move your toe, let alone walk.

Everyone passes by so casually; barely even noticing your mangled body laying there. You almost want to laugh but your jaw is lying on the pavement beside you, which makes it a little difficult.

"Take the fall, it's worth the risk."

Just be thankful that you can't see yourself like this. The system is suspended in limbo, the power is on but there's no response. And all that's left is to shut it down and move on.

Khalel, be strong. Be very Strong.

I will be your strength,

CAIRO

IMAHE | KHALEL ZANTILLAN

"But you see," said Roark quietly, "I have, let's say, sixty years to live. Most of that time will be spent working. I've chosen the work I want to do. If I find no joy in it, then I'm only condemning myself to sixty years of torture. And I can find the joy only if I do my work in the best way possible to me. But the best is a matter of standards--and I set my own standards. I inherit nothing. I stand at the end of no tradition. I may, perhaps, stand at the beginning of one."

- ayn rand

NO ARROWS

ive lost my concentration.
this outburst of emotions,
this uncontrolable surge of pain,
words seemed to be far away,
and im left here, silenced.

this feeling that wont subdue,
id really hate you if this is untrue.
you stare at me like im the only one.
we both know im not.
but why such pretention?
why such love?

is this cowardice we both manifest?
or is it only i that make matters worse?
you've got someone else beside you.
i've got no one.
love fills me when you speak.
but dried tears well up when the two of you meet.

my jealousy is void,
for you and i, there has never been US.

-khalel zantillan
May 29, 2009

DISCONTENTMENT

The average; norm.
is there such a form?
Forlorn; torn between a sole journey
and the sojourn of the soul.

The final visionary,
overtaken by solemn undertakings
as serene reality, overshadowed by unreal premise
trickles down, abandoned by discontented minds.

Silenced murmurs echo unchecked,
obscured among lost footsteps of dissident spirits.
Lighten prospects through unenlightenment;
Quench the thirst for reality with tears of confusion.

Shaded nuance and veiled subtlety;
forsaken graces of humanity
when fear of individuality
overwrites morality.

-khalel zantillan
i forgotten how sweet the black tears taste.
rekindling the dying light, beckons: I am home.

We're Back!

Bigger.
Better.
Gayer.

After 7 months of hiatus, we are back online! Now with a new link, but still with the same feel.

http://tdrs.mypodcast.com